I’ve had a rough week. There’s been a major change in my family that happened in a completely unexpected way. I am still trying to process it and come to terms with the new reality. In other words, I am trying to regain order in my life after having a little chaos thrown at me.
So my post is late this week – and it is about how I am attempting to find balance when the wheels have fallen off.
The biggest challenges are mental and emotional. One follows the other. I am trying hard not to over think.
First, I accept reality. The situation has changed and it is what it is. Whether I like it or not, this is the new reality. I must deal with it.
Second, I am not analyzing or speculating – I do not have sufficient information. I intend to perform as much reasonable fact-finding as I can, digest the information, and accept the reality of that information.
Third, I am resisting projection. I do not know what is going to happen and I can’t control the future – no one can. All we can do is respond.
Fourth, I intend to do what I always do when I have a challenge – focus enough attention on myself to keep up my health (both mental and physical) so that I can meet any additional challenges or fallout.
In the physical dimension, I had intended to begin the Body for Life Challenge on Monday, and that is what I did. I prepared my meals for the week and I’ve already executed the first of the weight-training and cardio sessions I have planned. The exercises I intend to do are logged in my journal and I am recording actual against planned. I continue to log my nutrition – you can’t balance your bank account if you don’t record your transactions.
Every weekday morning, once I’ve completed my workout, I will go to work and do my job. There is a welcome relational aspect to most jobs – I will interact with my co-workers. They are an incredibly fine group of people whose intelligence and humor I am grateful for.
When I come home from work, my daughter is not there, but my husband is. We are empty nesters for now, and perhaps from now on. It’s a little sooner than I expected, and the way it happened in no way resembled my expectations – but then, few things in life ever measure up to our expectations. For most experiences, “You gotta’ be there!”
My husband and I did expect some day to return to being just a couple. So here we are. In the emotional dimension, although we are having different reactions to this past week’s events, we have supported and strengthened each other, just as we did when we first came together as a couple.
I have also availed myself of outside help. This is relational – having trusted advisors with whom to reflect. We have a terrific family therapist. I have seen her this past week. She asked me “How are you going to take care of yourself?” My answer was a rather flippant “Chocolate and yoga.”
Well, not so flippant. Dark chocolate and yoga are a great way to comfort myself. I intend to indulge in yoga, and occasionally treat myself to a small piece of dark chocolate. From these two things I can get physical, mental, emotional and spiritual comfort – not a bad deal.
But I also told her I would write. When I said it, I was not thinking about a blog post – but writing for me is therapeutic. I hope that perhaps for some who read it, it will also be instructive.
In order to retain balance when the wheels fall off, I need the structure of my regular routine and the strength of my relationships, punctuated by the occasional treat and the ability to express myself creatively. This is how I keep on keeping on.